I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My dick has a subreddit
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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