There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
