I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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