I want to stick my p in your. b.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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