ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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