Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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