Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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