I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
