Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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