oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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