I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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