I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
