I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
