Christians are straight up FREAKS
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
