tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
