drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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