I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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