why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
