i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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