She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
