I just made out with a guy for $7.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize