Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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