I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
