i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My ass is underappreciated
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
