In the future we'll all be gay
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize