Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
