I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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