Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
