what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
