Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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