This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
