would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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