I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I am naked and annoyed.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
