Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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