So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
