Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
