And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
