moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
