It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
