Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My dick has a subreddit
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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