We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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