dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Randomize
