i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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