DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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