then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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