How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
do nipples grow back?
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