Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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