I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
