New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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