I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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