i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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