Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
