This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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