when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
