I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
