you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
