honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
