he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
