I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
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