I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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