we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
