alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
