There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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