She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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